The Best Way to Remain the Best Version of Yourself

Have you ever been in a situation where you constantly doubt your abilities and do not feel self-confident no matter how much you try? Maybe there is a goal that you worked on that you did not achieve? Or you have been a home maker for few years and are no longer sure about your career and future. Perhaps you just have negative people around you that constantly drag you down and bad-mouth you.The truth is these can affect your life and sometimes change how you behave and feel about yourself.

Constant down talking from haters can sometimes feel like your reality when you do not rekindle the inner voice of who you truly are. In our lives we constantly have to battle to keep a positive self-image despite their ups and downs. A number of things can affect our self-image. Here is a few of them:

(I) Past experiences – often when we have failed in doing something in the past we are likely to feel like we will fail in the future even though this might not be the case. If your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend was a biker and they ended the relationship badly, you are more likely to get extra careful the next time a biker asks you out for drinks.


(II) The Environment – we behave differently in different environments. How we behave at work is different from how we behave in our homes. Depending on the situation, some environments charge us up and get us excited whilst others require us to have conscious effort to feel positive.


(III) Family and Friends – You must have heard a thousand times that you are as good as the company you keep. Hang around friends who do not care about their weight and eat whatever they want and soon you will start relaxing your health and fitness standards. Our family values affect us, if mom felt strong about dishonesty it is likely that as a daughter or a son you would also feel strongly about it. If family dinner around a table was an important event in your childhood it might just remain that way in your adult life.


There is more to how our self-image gets influenced than what I described above but let us keep it simple for now. The point that I want to make in this article is that it is easy to sometimes lose the true person that you are. As life happens and you do not meet your own expectations and expectations of those around you, your self-image will get affected and you might lose the true and best version of who you are.

To help you remain in touch with who you truly are and who you want to be -no matter how many times you have failed, no matter how messed up your life is right now - I have devised what I call the “thewheelofwhoIam” (read it slowly as the “the wheel of who I am”).
This is a tool that I have devised for you to write down within it all the attributes that define who you are. Write these down and keep as a reminder of your true or ideal characters when days are dark. By way of example I have mine already filled below. Use the empty one and fill personal traits that define your true self. Paste this on your fridge or your office or anywhere so that it is available when you need it. I guarantee you, there will be days when you are not so sure of yourself anymore. Remind yourself who you truly are using this tool and soldier on.

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 Please follow this link to download the wheel free and use it as you wish http://digioh.com/em/19290/120024/r6424vadpn?demail=*|EMAIL|*

If you would like to super charge your success in 2017 please watch my youtube video on the five best things you can do for your success in 2017. Here is the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=7&v=8vFmbBHDKrA ….no data? Would you prefer to read instead? I have the article written also for you to read, here is the link for the written article http://www.phillipramphisa.com/blog/index.php?controller=post&action=view&id_post=44

5 Best Things to Do for Your Success in 2017 - Top Motivational Speakers

5 Best Things to Do for Your Success in 2017 - Top Motivational Speakers

 

Reasearch shows that 92% of people set new year resolutions and goals year after year (whether this is weight loss or landing a job or getting a degree) but few of us really follow through and take action to achieve those goals. So what is it about setting new year resolutions? Is it just excitement or do we really intend to achieve our goals in the new year but get distracted by life commitments. In this article I share 5 things that will help you follow through on your new year goals and resolutions.

1. Have a higher personal standards
The quote by Norma Vincent Peale proves to be true when it comes to success, "aim for the moon, even if you miss you will land amongst the stars". To be successful you need to have higher standards. As you reflect on 2016 improve your life standards going to 2017. Improve standards in every area of your life career, finances, relationships and spiritual growth. Aim to do better to achieve more.

Realise that in order to improve your standards you also have to have the right self-image. It is not easy to aim high when you feel lousy about yourself and feel like you do not deserve to be successful. So, try to let go of all past negative experiences that might have made you doubt yourself. Go to 2016 with a new personal slogan that says, "I am worth it, I deserve all the success"

2.Define your success in a way that speaks to you

Some of us are programmed by society when it comes to success. We see people doing well financially and living luxurious lifestyles and define success in their terms not our terms. It's OK to admire others however the problem with this approach is that defining success in terms of what you see around you might not give you the drive that you need to succeed. This has happened in my own life. For a while I have been impressed with entrepreneurship. I saw some of my friends who were entrepreneurs doing really well in business and living lavish lifestyles. And so, I started thinking that I need to start my own business too because I was seeing my friends and they were doing really well. I registered a business and started looking for opportunities. But somehow I just did not have the right energy for it. I couldn't figure it out. I just wasn't motivated to work hard on the business.

Until one day as I was taking a long drive (solitary long drives do help you have self introspection), as I was thinking I figured it out that I actually defined success in a wrong way. This was the reason I was not motivated on my goal to become an entrepreneurial success.

I had defined success in terms of money because I saw my friends. The problem was that money is important to me but it doesn't motivate me. That's why I couldn't take inspired action on my entrepreneurial goal. I had to figure out a way to define success that is authentic to me. This would make my goals exciting and motivate me to work hard. I had to find my own purpose and not just want business because of what I was seeing from my friends.

Business success to me means creating value for others and making a real difference in people's lives. Once I had this definition, my purpose connected much better to my business and I really started working hard and engaging.

There are many cases where you might kinda of want certain things because they are perceived by others as important. However, you might find that whatever perception others have is not what speaks to you.

Define success in a way that speaks to you and your true passion and aspirations. You will no longer have to drag yourself to working hard towards your goals because when your goals speak to your heart you get automatically motivated to pursue them.

3.Set goals

Imagine tow people having to sell bananas on the street, as is the case with many open market street sellers in Africa. One has a daily target of selling 30 bananas. The other just goes with the flow and has no target at all. Who of these two people do you think will do better at selling bananas considering that selling on the street is not easy. I think the person with the target will do better and they can be able to adjust. If they had started at 8 am and sold 25 bananas by 3:30 before knocking off at 16:00 they can push hard for just 5 more sales to reach their target - because when you quantify your target you always try to hit. On the other hand the person with no target has nothing to measure themselves against. They might not be even motivated to push for more sales.

Setting goals is important because it engages our minds and help us push harder to achieve our goals. Once you have a number relating to the goal that you are working towards, it is more likely that you will push harder to achieve it.

4.Act on your goals and receive feedback

It goes without saying that nothing happens by itself. You have to take action and exert energy to achieve your goals. Taking action requires discipline and sometimes we have to act even if we do not feel like doing so. The best way to get things done is now. There is always something you can do to act on your goals immediately. Here is an exercise... take a piece of paper, write your goals in on it at the front page. Turn the page around and write what you can do immediately to achieve those goals. Act!

5.Reconnect to your goals constantly

Life does get busy. There are constant calls, emails and people to attend to. it is possible to disconnect to your goals and only re-look at them towards the end of the year.

Time occasionally feels like it passes by quickly and you might feel like you have not progressed. You need to develop a routine to reconnect to your goals constantly.

The best way is to have solitary moments as a ritual where you reflect on your life. This can be an activity where you take a walk every once in a while or run or just meditate. Whatever the activity is ensure that you do it alone. As you reflect on your life ask yourself these three important questions, "How am I doing towards achieving my goals?", "Am I still heading towards the right direction", "What do I need to improve on?", "What do I commit to do immediately in order to achieve my goals?"

This will help you constantly reconnect to your goals and not get distracted from achieving them.

How to motivate yourself to act - Top Motivational Speakers - Phillip Ramphisa

Most of us know the right thing to do but we don’t always do it. Most of us know it is good for our health to exercise, that we should spend time cultivating relationships with our kids and partners so that we have a happy family life and that we should be networking so that we can grow our careers and businesses and so on…….but we just do not always do what we know. Why?

Knowing what is right or what you need to do doesn’t always guarantee that you will execute what you know and succeed. In order to get yourself to do what you know will help you succeed, you need motivation to do so. Here are the few things you can do to motivate yourself:

Spend time with people that are better than you, people that will make you feel disturbed so that you can have motivation to demand more from yourself.
Remind yourself why you need to act…..when you have strong “whys” and you remember them it always helps you with the motivation towards the achievement of your goal
Set a higher standard in all areas of your life…for your health, relationships, business goals and career as well as family.
Dr. Steve G. Joneshas developed a product that helps people learn success habits so that creating success becomes part of their daily routine. Grab yourself a copy from the link below and invest in learning about how you can create success in your life.

 

http://11dce3p8gex1wjamubnxle7g3z.hop.clickbank.net/

 

I wish you the best of luck on your success journey.

 

Regards,

Phillip Ramphisa

Author, “Young, Wise and Kick-S”

www.phillipramphisa.com

How to Deal with Shame and Guilt - Top Motivational Speakers - Phillip Ramphisa

How to Deal with Shame and Guilt - Top Motivational Speakers - Phillip Ramphisa

 

We all do some things that we are not proud of sometimes, saying or doing things that we did not want to in a moment of anger or acting in ways that we are not proud of. This has tremendous ability to affect our happiness and our resourcefulness. In this article I would like to share with you how to overcome shame and guilt so that you have the ability to forgive yourself and get back to being happy and resourceful.

You feel shame and guilt when you have done something that you are not proud of. The fact that the outcome of the action that you are not proud of makes you feel shame and guilt suggests that your behaviour is outside your norm and against your moral campus. The consequences of your actions might sometimes have short term effects and dissipate away however sometimes the consequences of your actions can lead to long term effects that can last for the rest of your life; - leaving scars that remain as a reminder of actions that you are not proud of and cause you to feel guilt. The longer the effects, the longer it will take you to forgive yourself.

No matter how hard the situation seems, the only solution to overcome guilt and shame is to resolve and make a commitment to a new set of actions. This might mean making a promise and to yourself that you will not repeat the behaviour and keeping that commitment. It might mean affirming the situation and committing to live-on.

Affirming the situation means admitting and accepting that you did something wrong and it led to negative outcomes, this means saying to yourself, “I admit that what I did is wrong, I am not proud of it and I accept that my actions resulted in negative circumstances”. After admitting this to yourself you then need to commit to new future actions that are congruent with who you are or who you want to be. Again this might mean making a declaration to yourself and saying something like this, “I will accept the consequences of my actions; - I will improve my behaviour in future and ensure that I remain true to who I am”. By accepting the consequences of your actions you empower yourself not to dwell too much into the negative feelings whenever you are reminded of the actions that caused you to feel guilt and shame. Do this and learn to forgive yourself.

The above might not be easy but it is the only way to overcome guilt. Accept then commit to a new future. When you feel guilty spend more time convincing yourself to accept what you have done wrong, forgive yourself and commit to a new future.

The best and easier way to empower yourself is to make it a routine to speak to yourself as a friend, make self affirmations, admit your guilt, accept consequences of your actions no matter how negative and commit to a new future. If all else fails please seek professional assistance.

Please subscribe to my newsletter at www.phillipramphisa.com . If this article has empowered you in any way or form please be kind to drop me an email and comment Phillip@friendinlife.com.

Good luck.

 

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